Feet: New Window to the Soul

It’s summer, and people’s feet are visible again.  There’s a reason that shoes and socks were invented.  It’s to cover up the unbelievable grotesque ugliness that is some people’s feet.

I’ve been making an unofficial survey regarding feet by observing my clients.  These are people with money, most of them, or enough money anyway.  I’ve noticed something:  the more money people have, the more disgusting their feet are. You would think these people would spring for the odd mani-pedi, or maybe just have all that thick dirty-gray heel callous shaved off somehow, or retain someone to manage those lumpy, dirt-encrusted toenails, but no.

I may insist on a footbath before all my sessions in the future.  Not for me, for them.

You’d think this is something people might notice when they’re dressing for the day:  Hey, I’m putting on sandals here and my feet will be exposed.  Someone might see them! But no, sadly no.

It’s my corollary observation that the more fucked-up a person is, also the more skanky their feet.  This seems obvious, don’t you think?  Attention to feet = attention to reality?

(You’re checking out your feet right now, aren’t you?)

Here’s something else:  reflexologists believe that for every part of the human body there is a corresponding part of the feet.  Press on a certain place and you can stimulate your liver, for instance, or your … I did mean every part.  I’ll wait here while there’s a mad rush to Google “reflexology chart” and find your genitalia.  There.  Are you back with me now?  Good.  Because you can elicit profound effects on your sense of well-being just by getting someone to rub your feet.

I’ll just leave you with that.  My duty to humanity is done for today.

Related posts:

1. Return of The Bitch
2. How to read signs and omens
3. 2009 can suck it