A taste* of the Bitch

August 30th, 2008 by bitch

Well, this is a bitch-slap in the face.  This personality test is clearly fucked.  Turns out it thinks I am a fucking Hippie.  There’s no way.  Sociopath, maybe.  Smartass, for sure.  Bitch-slap?  But of course.  But … Hippie?  Here:

[I]t stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn’t a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble–thus making you an annoying hippie.

Fuck.  “Gentle”?  Blowing my cover here.  But surely an online personality quiz is far more meaningful than self-knowledge.  I can base my whole life path on online quizzes.

Now take the fucking test and report back.

*Yes, I do mean literally.  What else would I mean?

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Posted in Bitching | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “A taste* of the Bitch”

  1. Nat Says:

    It says I’m the “Starving Artist.” Obviously never had a look at me. Many ways to describe me but emaciated Frenchman is only half right. I am French. So there…

    (Actually it’s pretty accurate. I am that arrogant.)

    Nats last blog post..Butt butt butt

  2. bitch Says:

    Nat: At least you’re not the Crying Emo Kid. Irony = talking about not being starving while CommentLuv pimps your last post. Titled “butt butt butt.” Awesome!

  3. Lewis Says:

    Oh my god, I’m screwed:

    Your result for The Personality Defect Test by Saint_Gasoline …

    Sociopath
    You are 71% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

    You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You are confident and capable of social interaction, but you prefer the silence of dead bodies to the loud, twittering nitwits you normally encounter in your daily life. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you with a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, so tiny and small. You take great pleasure in the misery of others, and there is nothing sweeter to you than the sweet glory of using someone else’s shattered failure to project yourself to success. Except sugar. That just may be sweeter. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don’t kill me for writing mean things about you! I have a 101 mile-long knife! Don’t make me use it!

    To put it less negatively:

    1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

    4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Hippie.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig.

  4. Seth Says:

    Hippie

    Some of the questions I would’ve answered none of the above. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s and I was a hippie so I still am at heart.

  5. Josi Says:

    I AM the Bitch-Slap. And the test was fairly accurate. Other than I am not
    57% Brutal. Unless you push it. ;)

    Thanks for the link!

    Josi/357Lady

  6. RBV Says:

    Heh…I’m a Smartass. I definitely think that hippie is the worst.

  7. The Mad Celt Says:

    Terribly, violently funny and intelligent…I’ve had a great time. I’ll be back (a warning).

  8. The Mad Celt Says:

    I’ve added you to my blog lists (http://madceltbloglist.blogspot.com/).

  9. Don Says:

    Robot here. I can no longer say “fuck it” when I have a problem. I now know that I cannot have sex with an abstract issue…I must always be logical so in that sense, my logic tells me that if I stay here any longer, I will fucking go crazy! Love the blog.

  10. Maliciousi Intent Says:

    I accept your invite and raise you 20.
    I like to get my bitch on to and don’t give a shit if the idiot asking for it does not approve. However, I am fair and care for my fellow humans. Problem is there are not many true humans on this planet these days.

    Maliciousi Intents last blog post..Just in cast you missed it…

  11. Bec Says:

    Hippie? Me? My days of frolicking in fields making daisy chains are well over and done with! Hippie… bet that answer was put there just to wind people up!

    Becs last blog post..Could This Be A Worse Post?

  12. bitch Says:

    Lewis: You’re my opposite! I’m kind of turned on.

    Seth: Yeah, I had you figured for a Hippie.

    Josi: At least *somebody* here is a Bitch-slap. Thanks for playing!

    RBV: If I say “fuck you” to that (about the Hippie) you’ll take it in the spirit in which it was intended, right?

    Mad Celt: Duly warned. Thanks for the add; an eclectic list.

    Don: As far as I’m concerned, “fuck it” is always an option. Abstraction or no.

  13. bitch Says:

    Bec: They went and yanked your daisy chain, eh? Fuck ‘em!

  14. Monique Says:

    The Class Clown …

    Moniques last blog post..Bwahahahaha …

  15. Amy Derby Says:

    I’m a Brute. I am 29% Rational, 29% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

    Sounded kinda mean until they said this:

    1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

    4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

    I guess all of that is right. ;-)

    Amy Derbys last blog post..Freelance Writing Blogs That Rock

  16. Scath Says:

    Schoolyard Bully
    You are 14% Rational, 86% Extroverted, 86% Brutal, and 0% Arrogant.

    My favorite part of the description:

    “Thus, like any schoolyard bully, you seek constant attention for yourself and have no issues with administering beatings because you are quite emotional and easy to upset. Not only that, but your insecurity may be a prime motivation for your brutality. As psychologists have noted, most schoolyard bullies only pick on others because they have a negative self-image. This could possibly be true of you. Either that or you are just really hungry and need lunch money. In short, your personality defects are your brutality, extroversion, irrationality, and your possible insecurity. Go pick on someone your own size! But not me. I’m a midget, I swear.”

    I’d say that was way off.

    If I find that midget, I’m gonna take a baseball bat to him. =)

  17. Malicious Intent Says:

    Bitch Slap here! Hhahahaahah, so fucking funny..
    Bitch-Slap
    You are 29% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

    You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called “The Bitch Slap”. (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence…gee, when you say “small” a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don’t show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can’t get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it’s a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.
    And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.

    To put it less negatively:

    1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

    2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

    3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

    4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Braggart.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Schoolyard Bully, the Class Clown, and the Brute.

    Any class clowns out there wanna come out and play?? lol

    Malicious Intents last blog post..Hubby has a few posts and other plugs.

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