LALALALALA I can’t HEAR YOU!!! Dealing with the voices in your head.
Sigh.
You know that voice? The one in your head? The voice in your head that tells you stuff? You know the one I mean. You’ve been listening to that little fucker for years now, and I am here to tell you that it is EATING ALL YOUR BRAIN CELLS.
This is the voice I mean. Tell me this isn’t familiar to you. ONE of these is in your head, almost guaranteed.
1. You’re so fat. Look at you, you’re hideous in these clothes! Ugh, everyone can see how you look, you’re just huge! Nothing hides it, you are so fat. Fat and lumpy and ugly. Fat, fat, fat.
2. You’re a failure. Nothing you do ever goes right. Everything you do is wrong. You can never do anything. You never finish anything. You might as well not even bother trying anymore, because you’ll just fail again.
3. God you’re ugly. Ugly as hell. Look at you. No one will ever love you like that. You are ug-LEE, dude. Ugly.
4. No one fucking likes you. They’re just pretending. People can’t stand you. They whisper behind your back; they’re always talking about you. See how they turn around when you come in the room? They can’t stand you.
5. Why do you even exist? You can’t do anything right, you’re fat, you’re ugly, no one even likes you. Useless. What’s the point? You’re better off dead.
Yo, people, I’m like fucking depressed after typing that shit. You know how that gets to you? I mean, somewhere inside you know it isn’t true, but then you hear that voice, the voice that sounds like YOU, and you go, “Well, maybe…” and then you open up all kinds of trouble right there. You start believing what you’re hearing, and you tell yourself that the stupid fucking voice in your head is more real than what you feel way deep down inside.
Mind fuck.
It’s a form of karma. Karma with the self. You create this situation that ends up limiting your own choices, because you become so paralyzed in the trance of that voice that’s you and not-you at the same time, and then all of a sudden you’re the deer in the headlights. Stopped cold. Staring blindly into the lights of the oncoming car that’s rushing toward you, about to crush your skull and return you to the Source of All That Is.
Except you weren’t quite ready to be dead yet, so you just ACT as if you were dead. Because you’re now a fucking ZOMBIE and you can’t think for yourself because you’re now in the grip of that stupid fucking voice. The voice that’s only real because you’ve tricked yourself into believing it is.
Well, fucking stop it, will you?
Except it’s not that easy, is it? You’ve come to rely on that voice. You’re used to it. You think it’s real, more real than that OTHER voice way down deep inside, the one that should be fucking shouting but instead just emits a pathetic little peep of doubt from time to time.
So you have to train yourself to stop listening. It’s not easy, people, I won’t lie to you. But this is what you can do. You’re going to trick yourself again, see? Just like you did a long long time ago when this little fucker started talking to you and you started believing it. But that was a long time ago and you’re a different person now. You’re older and you’re wiser and you’re better equipped to choose the soundtrack that plays in your head.
Okay, from now on, every time you hear anything negative in your head, the very beginning of that narrative you know so well, just shout out a big “No!”
“NO!”
That’s all it takes.
Because you are choosing now which voice you will believe.
You are choosing now, and you can do this. Just start with “no.” Saying “no” will open up a new door, one that you closed a long time ago. The door is still there and it’s been there all this time but you weren’t using it. So you know where to go once you get the door open. Just open the door with a “no,” and things will start to change. It takes time. You have to do this over and over. But once you get the door open with your “no,” you can start a new narrative, one filled with things you like.
1. You have everything you need inside you, and you always did.
2. You are an amazing person.
3. There is a glow of energy around you, and people notice it.
[One caveat here. You know the fortune cookie joke, the one where at the end of reading any fortune you add the words "in bed"? Be sure you are not adding Evil Fortune Cookie Crap to the end of your new sentences. Do NOT, for instance, do this: "You have everything you need inside you, and you always did but you're such a fuck-up that you failed to see this all this time and you suck! You FAIL!"]
See? Don’t do that last bit.
Need extra help? Cover your ears with your hands, and start just singing something nonsensical. ANYTHING to get your mind off that old voice and the crap it tells you. (Just don’t make it “Feelings” unless you want The Bitch to start stabbing herself repeatedly in the eye with the business end of a USB cord.)
How long does this take? Depends. It took you awhile to get to this point, so undoing your own mind-fuck takes some time. But you should start noticing changes. And seriously, this is your chance to give yourself a gift that’s anything you want. Anyone you want to be, that you know deep down you really are, that’s what you want this new-old voice to be telling you. That’s the voice that never left you, that was always there, but you forgot about it. Pay attention to it. Open that door again and let it out to play.
You won’t regret it.
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October 3rd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Fuck, Bitch, where have you been?
I started writing a whole message after that first sentence, but then I realized I just put that there because you had already said it and I had deemed it acceptable to throw back at you as a joke.
I like to think that I am smarter than all those voices in my head because I know they’re just voices. I know their not real. I accept that I have to take responsibility for making my own life happen because no one going to do it for me. And yet, it’s still hard to stay motivated.
But I’m noticing changes, so things must be on their way. Just got to keep the gears turning.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..I Make A Difference, Now What About You?
October 4th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Bitch,
I know about damned voices!!!
I wish everyone had my voice 3 and R in their head, evertime the negetive voices become too loud, these two jump to rescue, if that didnt make sense, may i shamelssly invite you to my blog where my voices regularly feature.
blog on
ciao
schizo
schizos last blog post..Are we connected?
October 4th, 2008 at 5:21 am
I have such a battle with those voices. Didn’t get some wardrobe shopping done yesterday because of it.
Thanks for this.
Nats last blog post..It hasn’t hit me yet
October 4th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Very forthright I must say, I do like an outspoken woman, I’m told I can be quite outspoken mysefl but at my aged its just called grumpt alas.
mrs rhubarbs last blog post..The Horticultural Society
October 4th, 2008 at 8:10 am
My voices tell me I’m awesome.
October 4th, 2008 at 8:29 am
I’m going to get some funny looks when I’m out shopping by myself, trying on clothes, shouting “NO!” periodically, or going “lalalalalala” with my fingers in my ears. Those looks will be real fodder for those other voices and it becomes the snowball from hell.
But, hey, I like snow.
Kool Aids last blog post..catching up
October 4th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Feelings, nothing more than feelings
Trying to forget my feelings of love
Teardrops rolling down on my face
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
October 4th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Sometimes really amazed to see how fast this mind sea water rushes in, even in what feels like quietude. One little loud fart tremor of noise or low energy from news, neighbors or car backfires can bring up an instant negative response that can start monkey mind chatter. Accusations from the monkey lawyer can be squashed pretty well if caught immediately and the sea water drains the dreck away. Ever watchful, ever present, ever aware.
Work it N.A.B.
October 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I said Fuck OFf to those voices long ago! But you’re right on
target as always girl. Occasionally one little peep will start
to emerge…but I squash it like a bug. If people don’t like
who or what I am or how I do things. Too bad. But mostly I find
that people are drawn to those that are strong and know who they
are. It’s great. Wish everyone could just love and accept themselves.
The world would be a much better place.
*HUGS*
Josi
October 5th, 2008 at 12:34 am
Wow, it’s like you jumped in a time machine, went back in time a few years, found me in high school, and somehow READ MY MIND! Stay away, you Time Traveling Mind Reading Bitch! Arghh!
Seriously, though, great article and even greater advice.
I usually tell my inner voice to shut the F*&! up and dropkick it down the stairs and slam the cellar door.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Is excess killing you?
October 5th, 2008 at 9:43 am
That was the past… I used to think that way and then I watched the Secret. Positive thinking is the answer. Whenever you have a negative thought combat that with something positive. Erase negative thoughts from your mind and leave only the positive.
The law of attraction will work in your favor.
~ Jim
Jim Gaudets last blog post..How to say I Love You over the Internet… [Digg]
October 5th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Matthew: Thomas Edison believed that we all have like 15 little people inside our heads. I’m not sure what that has to do with your comment but it does explain a lot.
Schizo: We’re all shameless here, and proud of it.
Nat: Next time, take the Bitch along shopping!
WriterDad: Mine say the same thing.
Kool Aid: Soliciting funny looks on purpose is fun! Try it!
Asshole: LALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU
Psiplex: I love how you worked the word “fart” into your poetic comment.
Josi: The thing about being strong in yourself is that it does elicit a lot of positive reinforcement.
Blogger Dad: It’s amazing how many people’s brains are stuck in high school. Keep that cellar door closed!
Jim: I find the words “positive” and “negative” to be incredibly emotionally-charged and as a result kind of limiting. Instead of erasing all the “bad” stuff, you have to walk the path of deciding what’s real first. Pushing it away just lets it breed somewhere else. It’s a fine line to walk, and maybe we’re talking about the same thing, but language is powerful and I like to create rather than destroy.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:58 am
some days the voice is louder than others. these are the days when i fake it and make believe i’m alright. maybe now, with your wise advice i will shout out loud “no!” and it will be so much easier than pretending.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Thomas Edison created *something* so he could get those fucking voices to shut up.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Stepping On Skipping Stones
October 8th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Great post and great advice. I will be singing, “No I can’t hear you!! F*ck off!” all day. Wonder how that will go down at the school gates?
Mom/Mums last blog post..Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook?
October 9th, 2008 at 12:21 am
[...] I got to the end of Tim’s post where he’s talking about phrases to use instead of the garbage some of us usually fill our heads with, and when I came to “I want…”, fucking lightbulbs were exploding ALL OVER. [...]