Stop giving your power away!
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I read a Twitter lament recently from someone lambasting the bazillions of homeowners who got in over their heads with loans they couldn’t possibly repay, and it got me to thinking about what made those homeowners sign away their first-born with blood on a dotted line made of precariously leaning towers of sub-prime greed.
1. They were sorta greedy.
Everyone wants the American Dream. You know what I mean: the 4 bedroom 2.5 bath 3-car-garage behemoth in the suburbs, where nobody walks and you drive through two miles of identical rows of identical houses to a big fresh new-smelling mall where everyone gathers to eat by themselves in the drive-thru lane of Burger King, or if it’s a special night they wait 90 minutes for a table at Applebee’s or Olive Garden and eat the same thing thousands of people are eating all over the country at the same fucking time.
Yeah. That dream.
That’s the dream that has sold 5 million iPhones. That’s the dream that skyrocketed Wal-Mart to its place among the walking undead of capitalism. That’s the empty dream that millions of people have been chasing for years.
2. They were sorta stupid.
They didn’t do their homework. They thought, as many did, that the bubble would never burst, that the markets would continue to go up forever, that a real estate investment is a sure thing and not the crap shoot that it really is. Tons of people have bought into this mindset, so if it’s you, you’re not alone. But do you know how many people willingly put themselves into hock for $300K, $400K, or more based on the emotionalism of “But honey, it has a three-car garage and a jacuzzi!”*
3. They believed the loan officer.
We believe doctors, lawyers, and anybody sitting on the other side of a desk from us. Why? Because they display their diploma on the wall behind us!
This gives them the ability to know what is right for us?? Hardly. But we fucking do it all the time. Somehow that white coat, that desk, that diploma, renders us incapable of making a decision on our own and gives the person wearing that white coat or brandishing that diploma the Ultimate Authority to Decide Our Lives.
So fucking stop it. Stop giving away your power. Stop thinking that other people know more about you or your life than you do. Because the Bitch is fucking tired of it.
You do this, you know you do. You’re a nice person, right? So you’re concerned about what people think of you, right?
ZINNNNG!
That’s giving away your power. The SECOND you second-guess yourself about something because of what someone else might think or say or do, your power goes right out the window. You might as well sign over the papers to it right now. Go ahead. Sign ‘em over.
“But, Bitch!” I can hear you whining right now, “Those people, they’re Experts! They went to school and stuff! I don’t know ’bout birthin’ no babies!”
Yeah, and I’m sure you heard at some point that a third of doctors and lawyers graduated in the bottom third of their class, right? What makes you think these people know any more than you do, especially when it comes to YOUR FUCKING LIFE?
“But, Bitch!” You’re still whining. “I’m just being respectful! These people went to school and they studied and they, like, KNOW stuff!”
Shut up. Shut. Up.
Do you hear yourself?
Do you hear that sucking sound?
That’s the sound of YOUR power being sucked right out from inside you, YOUR power that you’re willingly giving away to anybody else, ANYBODY but you.
Why?
Because you’re fucking afraid to own your own power.
True.
You’re afraid. We’re taught to fear the power we all are born with, the power we all own. We are taught to just give it away to anybody who seems more educated, smarter, or more powerful than we are. We are not taught to own what we came here with.
The thing is, YOU are the person who knows what’s best for you. Sure, a loan officer, a doctor, a lawyer is going to have some specialized knowledge that comes from schooling and experience that maybe you don’t have.
But you still have the ability to know what is right for you. You just don’t believe that you do. It’s easier to give it away and trust someone else, and to hand over your life and your future to someone else. It’s easier to do that than it is to own what you came here with.
Trouble is, if you decide to own your power, then you also own the consequences of the choices you make when you own your power. You can’t blame anyone else anymore. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to look to yourself not only for your power but also for whatever happens when you make (gasp!) a mistake?
If you can do THAT, then you automatically have a toehold over everyone else in the universe. You make choices, you make choices that feel shitty and so feel like mistakes, and you learn. Ba dum bum. That’s life. But it feels a helluva lot better than giving away your power and feeling fucking helpless.
Take back your power. Take back your life. It’s YOUR life, after all.
*Okay, that was a rhetorical question, but if you demand an answer, it’s this: A FUCKING LOT OF THEM! ALMOST EVERYONE YOU KNOW! There, was that specific enough?
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October 13th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Ok Bitch, I am in total agreement with you on this one. Why won’t people use what they have at their fingertips? With the invent of the internet there is no reason to go into anything purchase uninformed.
Do your research, stop relying on other people to tell you what is right. Find out for yourself.
Now you have ammunition, use it.
Jim Gaudets last blog post..The Secret - Do you believe?
October 14th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Bitch, you’re 99% right on this one. The iphone is ten million, not five.
Writer Dads last blog post..Dejá Vuesday
October 14th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Nothing’s changed since life first hit this planet - it’s dawg eat dawg. No matter how purdy nature appears take a closer look - everything is kill or be killed.
I saw a vid on current.tv the other day and some guy is staring at his goldfish bowl full of tadpoles, he was probably thinking ‘hey I might be able to recapture some of the wonder I felt about life as a kid’. Instead he and I and another million schmoes witnessed the tadpoles ripping the first frog in the bowl to shreds.
Sure it’s evolution, sure it’s natural but no one likes a show-off, people can be successful, people can be losers, but in truth no one wants to know and if they do, more than likely the reaction will be negative.
I used to trip my face off, maybe looking for some kind of greater meaning in life, but what I found was more of the same. Humans are cowards, they create cultures to dress up the truth, the ugly heathen truth that is nature. We are all cannibals, we feast on the successes and failures of others to reassure us that things will change somewhere, somehow.
Something that made me laugh recently was a graph that showed how much the average stock market investor has made in the last 15 years, nothing is the answer. We can ride the roller-coaster of life, take the ups and downs till sundown, but by the end of the ride we are out of pocket and usually puking round the back. Still it’s better than just waiting in the queue till death rears its ugly head.
Sorry for blog hogging - it’s been one of those days - great post - great blog - if I had more enthusiasm for life I’d say you rock - but who am I to tell. Subscribed…
Paul Bainess last blog post..No Rest For The Wicked
October 14th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
You can’t hide from he block. The nature in us decides a lot, but the spirit has the over ride switch. Up to you to finger it out.
One Love
October 14th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I love this post. Speaks to a long standing disagreement I have with my sister that usually starts with “Why don’t you move to a bigger house…”
Nats last blog post..Almost perfect cupcakes
October 14th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
You found me through blogcatalog. I thank you. I feel exactly the same way. I wrote a small post about something similar. We wonder why we are in financial trouble. Wake the fuck up you plastic bitches!
ettaroses last blog post..WOO HOO The Carnival Is Here, The Carnival Is Here!!!!
October 14th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
So true. People have often looked at me in amazement when I explain that if I really want something that I will save up for it so that I can pay with cash. It’s all about that need for immediate gratification. But some things really are worth waiting for.
Oh, and that power thing? Reminds me of my aunt. I’d describe a problem that I was having to her and tell her what I wanted to do. She would respond, “When you take that approach, you are giving up your power. And you never want to give up your power.”
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October 14th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Jim: People are unwilling to trust themselves. Sad but true.
Writer Dad: It was 5 million a few weeks ago. Now nearly 10. And where’s MINE??
Paul: Thought you would post a link to the tadpole video. Please?
Psi: As always, deep. And yeah, it’s ALWAYS up to us. Every time.
Nat: The answer to that is, “Because I don’t fucking want to!” Also you can show her the beauty of tiny homes. Why do we need so much STUFF anyway?
Ettarose: Great minds do think alike. Welcome!
Dagny: Your aunt sounds totally cool. I would vote for her. Is she up for any kind of election?
October 14th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.
Alans last blog post..Social Networking
October 15th, 2008 at 12:52 am
When I think how meek and obedient I used to be to doctors, how I allowed them to be the boss of my body, I can only say I’m so glad I never had anything serious. These days they are a consultant. I pick their brains and work it out for myself.
Hilarys last blog post..Villains and victims
October 15th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Great post, I’ve only been on your site twice and really like your content..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Dorothy Stahlneckers last blog post..Women In Business Expo Eastern Hills Mall
October 19th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I took a blog hiatus these last few days. My poor fingers and my weary brain needed a break. I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack to say major KUDOS BITCH for writing about personal power, what I call, personal responsibility. As I read this post I kept thinking: yes, yeah, uh-huh, get on with your bad self now, yes, YES and YES YES YES!!!
I wrote about the blame game on my blog a while ago. http://www.giggleon.com/choose-live-world-blame/
The point of my post was this. We can choose to be victims or choose to empower ourselves. We can choose to blame, bully, bad-mouth and berate – OR – we can choose to take responsibility, encourage, support and motivate.
Forget about the global warming issue people. How about: STOP GLOBAL WHINING! Oh-yeh.
thank you…and good night!
P.S. LOVED the “birthin’ no babies” reference. Gave me a big giggle. Good shit sista!
Christas last blog post..Favorite things, relish in the good stuff
October 19th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
AMEN. Just amen.
Debs last blog post..Learning From Past Presidents In Moments Of Crisis, Doris Kearns Goodwin
October 19th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Alan: Rim shot. Nice one, though.
Hilary: Yeah, letting a doctor be the boss of your body is sort of kind of a little like rape.
Dorothy: Come back anytime, and feel free to swear.
Christa: YES and YES and YES and YES is usually what I shout under other circumstances, but okay.
Deb: Awesome.
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:27 am
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